


disappear into the dirt

by YellowMagicalGirl



Category: Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons)
Genre: Angst, Background Character Death, COVID-19, Character Study, Chronic Pain, Coronavirus, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Introspective Angst, New York City, Pandemics, Post-Canon, Post-Wizards (Tales of Arcadia), Suicidal Thoughts, Title from a Breaking Benjamin Song, Wizards Spoilers (Tales of Arcadia)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26288668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowMagicalGirl/pseuds/YellowMagicalGirl
Summary: For Nari, death is painful. And as a virus sweeps across the world, she is in constant agony.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	disappear into the dirt

Death is painful. Not that Nari knows what it is like to die. She, like Bellroc and Skrael, is immortal. She can never die.

No, it is not Nari's death that is painful. She does not know what it would be like to experience the pain of death. It is the death of others that is painful. Nari can feel every living thing. She feels the births. She feels the deaths. Every death hurts, but there are things that keep deaths from being as painful as they are.

Complexity is one thing. The death of a single-celled organism is barely any pain. The death of an insect or fungus is an ache that will fades quickly. The death of a larger animal or a decades old plant takes any where from hours to a few days to fade. The death of a human or troll is agony.

The other thing that keeps the pain away is distance. When people on the other side of the planet die, it hurts, but it does not hurt as much as if someone died under her hands.

Nari has learned to live with constant pain. When she was younger and there were less people in the world, Nari would kill even though she harmed herself at the same time. In turn, at first Bellroc and Skrael would try to kill as little as possible around her. But they stopped caring, and Nari slowly learned to avoid harming herself. Maybe if she had caused more harm to herself, she wouldn't be in so much pain right now.

There are so many densely-packed souls in New York. That is why she, Archie, and Douxie chose to hide here. It will take a long time for Bellroc and Skrael to find them.

After living in Camelot for so long, Nari is not as used to the pain. She has been in constant pain since they arrived here. But she had been able to walk around and ignore the pain.

They have been here for two years and eight months. And for the past month, Nari has been in so much constant pain that is difficult to get out of bed. A virus rages across the world. Every time Douxie leaves their shared apartment, he wears a mask - more of disguise than what he normally wears to hide from the Order.

A virus is not alive, and Nari wants it to die. She wants it to disappear and stop killing everyone. She wants people to stop dying. She wants to go somewhere far away from anyone else, but she knows that with how many die each day she will not escape the agony. And if she has the strength to leave then she won't have the strength to face Bellroc and Skrael.

Nari knows how people see her. A kind nature goddess. A highly empathetic being, who cares deeply about every soul she meets. She must be so altruistic, compared to the other members of the Arcane Order.

Nari is selfish. It isn't empathy or altruism that makes her care for humanity. She wouldn't care so much about humanity if their deaths did not cause her pain. Undoing the Genesis Seals would unleash magic, but it would destroy so much life that the pain would never fade. Perhaps it would even kill her.

Death is painful. Not that Nari knows what it is like to die. She, like Bellroc and Skrael, is immortal. She can never die.

But sometimes, when she lies in agony, she wishes that she could.


End file.
